Why Pride Matters

Have you noticed all the rainbow flags may be covering the streets, cities, and internet lately?

That's because June is here; which means it's Pride month for the LGBTQ+/Queer community! 

While Pride is a year long experience, I view Pride month similarly to other holidays I celebrate like Halloween and Christmas. With Halloween in October, I often watch a lot more horror movies and dress up in different costumes. However, I don't just watch horror movies and dress up in October but do these activities all year long because I enjoy them. The same is true for Christmas. In December, I shop and purchase gifts for my family and friends because it is a holiday that reminds us of the joy of giving onto others. But I still give gifts to my family and friends during the other months of the year as well. 

Pride is the same. It's important to celebrate Pride all year long, but it's also important to celebrate your Pride openly in June as well. 

I came out of my closet when I was in college. Like all individuals who come out of their closets, it was a scary period because when you come out of the closet, you are making the choice to be seen authentically by everyone in your life. The questions of "Once they see who I 'really am' will they still accept me? Want me? Love me?" It's a type of trauma that no one should ever have to experience but is too common in the LGBTQ+ community. 

Unfortunately, when I came out, my mother had already passed away. So I never had the opportunity to come out to her and reveal that I am gay. Thankfully, this is not a source of grief for me. 

I was extremely close with my mother. She was my biggest advocate growing up and made me the better person that I am today. And she was very liberal. When I was a teenager, I heard her talk openly about her support for the LGBTQ+ community and her frustration at the exclusion that they faced in the church and in the world. This knowledge and experience gives me relief, because if I did have the chance to come out to my mom, I know she would accept me, want me, and love me fully. 

This is why Pride matters, for not just LGBTQ+ people, but for everyone. 

It matters to me personally because it gives me a chance to affirm my wonderful identity as a gay cisgender man. 

It matters also because it reminds me that I must be an ally for other people who are also same-gender loving, transgender, non-binary, pansexual, and queer as well. To express my love and support as well.

And it matters to straight cisgender persons because you may know someone who is LGBTQ+ and Queer who is in need of your love and support. 

Children and Teenagers are extremely observant and they are looking for clues to know if they will be loved and supported for their queer identities from their families. By supporting Pride, both in June and throughout the year, you are loving your children and possibly someone else's children if they know they do not have a safe family to come out to. 

So I hope this month and year you will express your support of Pride. 

I support Pride and I hope anyone who is LGBTQ+ and Queer feels safe around me to come out to because I will love you, affirm you, and support you as the wonderful human being that you are born as. 

Peace and Blessings be with you all and Happy Pride!

Accountable

 I've been reflecting upon a memory when I was in elementary school. I believe it was 4^th grade. One of my peers was acting really rowdy and misbehaving, to the point it was disrupting the entire class. Many of the other students thought it was funny and encouraged the misbehaving behavior. I sat quietly, hoping it would settle down eventually. The teacher, appropriately fed up with everything that was going on, punished the entire class with no recess. I remember feeling so betrayed because I kept thinking, “But I didn’t do anything wrong, why should I get punished for the actions of one person?”

That sense of betrayal stayed with me through the rest of my childhood. And in many ways, was encouraged through the lens of our society. America values our individualism and even promotes it. I was never taught this explicitly, but I could see it on TV shows I watched, through the actions of adults around me, and even through the politics that were passed that my mother would talk about at home (often in the form of angry rants). And yet, my 4^th grade teacher went against this individual idolatry and didn’t just punish the one student but punished us all. I am sad to say that it took too long for me to realize the wisdom in her actions.

I want to be clear that I do not believe individualism to be a bad thing by itself. Our individual lives are sacred and should have rights. However, individualism that is absolute and idolized is dangerous. And it’s what killing our nation; too often in the form of gun violence.

I have heard the argument from gun owners whenever a violent act occurs involving one or a few people committing gun violence that they did not do anything wrong so why do people demand for gun reform (often thinking gun reform means their guns will be taken away and often reciting their individual right based on a loose interpretation of the 2^nd amendment).

I’m honestly not a fan of guns at all. I never want one in my living space, and I do not feel comfortable being in the presence of one. But gun reform is not taking all guns away. It’s about education. It’s about strong background checks. It’s about protecting the most vulnerable in our society.

I look toward other countries in the world who have stronger gun reform and the statistics reveal that gun violence is incredibly lower. Japan requires everyone to take all-day classes, written exams, and pass mental and drug tests. Japan has one of the lowest rates of gun crime in the world.

But it’s not just a difference in a person’s view of guns…it’s a culture that is based on community, not individualism.

I believe the issue of gun control comes down to our need to shift our focus toward what is best for the community, not the individual. When one person does something wrong, either a misbehaving kid or a person committing violence with a gun…we all must be held accountable. I must be held accountable for staying silence, even though I didn’t do anything. Our leaders must be held accountable, even if they didn’t do anything. Let us shift our thinking from the actions of one individual to the actions of ALL of us and protect all our citizens from any more unnecessary death and violence.

 

This is my prayer.

Sitting in the Ashes (Lenten Reflection)

Today is Ash Wednesday. Officially, the first day of the season of Lent. 

Just yesterday, a member of the church I currently serve at asked me, "Why is Tuesday before Lent called 'fast Tuesday'?" I explained that traditionally, many Christians practice Lent by fasting so they would spent the day before eating heavier foods to prepare for their fast. In my experience, most people have transformed the practice of fasting food to simply giving up anything in their life. In recent years, the practice continues to transform as some people decide not to take away something from their lives but add something instead. In my mind, as long as the item or activity you are giving up/taking on brings you closer to God's presence during this season, you are celebrating Lent. 

As I was heading to bed last night, I was scrolling on my Facebook page and one of my minister colleagues wrote a short but I felt very powerful statement about these two Lenten practices. To paraphrase his words, he mentioned how in the last two years of both the pandemic and the continuous tragedies we have experienced in the world, how can we take away another thing when it seems so much of our lives is already been taken away? 

And in the same breathe, he mentioned how can we be asked to take on one more thing when we been carrying so much already? I found the statement profound and very realistic. Our spirituality needs to be more realistic at times. I would even say as real as the spirituality of Job. 

Most everyone knows about the character of Job and the suffering he had endured. In most cases of "ultimate suffering", Job is the main example that ministers run to. And it's understandable why. In Job's situation, we never get a final answer as to why Job suffered. We get theories and numerous questions, but never a final answer as to why Job suffered the way he did. That alone is why I believe so many biblical scholars and ministers study Job's book...because deep down, the struggle for answers is so relatable. 

Almost too relatable. In fact, these last several years have felt like something I would read in a biblical book: plagues, wars, deaths of beloved leaders, rebellions, corrupt leaders, discrimination, racism, xenophobia, fear of the end times...

So yes, I agree with my colleague. It does feel so hard to take on something to else during Lent. It feels unjust to ask myself and others to let go of one more thing when we are trying to hold on to what little we might have. So I wonder if instead this Lenten season, in our 40 day journey to become closer to God's presence and love in our lives, we simply just be...?

After all the suffering that Job had witnessed, there is a statement from the writer that shares Job had sat among the ashes. For the longest time, I found the imagery of this verse to be so powerful. It's a phrase my CPE supervisor would share with us as a model of pastoral care quite often. And today, this phrase comes back to me because it feels so relevant and real. How many of us have been sitting in ours and our loved one's ashes, both metaphorically and perhaps to some degree, even literally? In all that Job had endured, he knew he could not take on another thing to do nor could he ask himself to take away one more thing, for he had nothing more to give. And somehow, despite all that which had occurred, he still wanted a closer relationship with God. 

So perhaps this season, we can simply just sit in the ashes that may be present in our lives. As we prepare to receive the ashes upon our foreheads, may we not feel pressured that we must take something on or we must give something up in order to feel God's presence. For God's presence is here with you. In the daily air that you breath, God is with you. In the teardrops that are released from pain, God is with you. From the unanswered questions that leave our lips these last few years and onward, God is with you. 

May we remember we are not alone in our ashes this season and we are loved by the One that made us from the dust, always and forever. 

Be at peace.