Favorite Disney Scenes: A Mother's Love (Dumbo)

 In this series, I will be sharing my reflections on my favorite animated Disney movie scenes. Some scenes may be a brief moment in the movie and some scenes may be an entire musical score. I hope my reflections offer some new perspectives and I would love to hear from YOU what your favorite scene is from each Disney movie I cover. Spoiler warning after this paragraph!

After the box office disappointment of Fantasia, the previous year, Disney then released Dumbo in 1941 as a much shorter and cheaper film. At the time, the film was praised by audiences and even now it is considered a classic. However, it is clearly a product of it’s time as it’s racist depictions of African Americans are seen throughout the movie. Disney+ now includes a Disclaimer recognizing their racism and stating that it was wrong then and it is wrong now. Even if you took out the racism in the movie, the film has other problems, including depictions of animal cruelty. These problems cause the movie to be less of a favorite of mine in the Disney rankings.

That being said, my favorite scene and moments in the movie is that of Mrs. Jumbo, Dumbo’s mother. Disney has an interesting history of multiple movies either having the mother be dead or killed in the movie (as unfortunately we will see in the next film, Bambi). So it was nice to see a mother figure who, despite being imprisoned for over half the film, is still present and alive by the end of the film. There are three majors scenes that feature Mrs Jumbo and Dumbo together. The first is when a bunch of kids pick on Dumbo and Mrs Jumbo comes to rescue him, leading to her being imprisoned. The second is when Dumbo comes to visit his mother and they can only reach out to each other via their trunks. And lastly at the very end of the movie when Dumbo is a star and now can afford to have Mrs Jumbo freed and have her own train car, thus reuniting them again. All three of these scenes are favorites in this movie, but the one I want to discuss is the first one.

Dumbo is a baby “born” in a traveling circus. Throughout the movie, Dumbo is mocked and ridiculed because of his big ears. Only two characters treat him with respect, his mouse friend Timothy, and his mother. One day, a crowd of kids come to see Mrs Jumbo and Dumbo in the pin and the kids start to make fun of Dumbo’s ears. Mrs Jumbo is upset by this and takes Dumbo away from the kids. This causes the kids to enter the enclosure to pick at Dumbo some more, including pulling on his ears. Mrs Jumbo is furious. She takes one of the children picking on Dumbo and gives him a spanking. Of course, the other children run in fear and the circus workers begin to restrain her. As soon as one of the workers grabs Dumbo and takes him out of the tent, Mrs Jumbo’s rage increases and she lashes out to all the workers in order to get her son back. At one point, her blue gentle eyes turn all red to symbolize her fury. The scene ends with the ring master getting dumped into a bucket of water. The following scene shows that Mrs Jumbo is imprisoned in a solitary train cart, with a sign that says, “Mad Animal” on the outside.

This scene simultaneously sparks within me my own anger but also a sense of comfort.

My anger comes from the treatment of Mrs Jumbo. Her actions spark a debate among the other women elephants, who frankly all act like gossipy bitches throughout the whole movie. Many claim that she was a mother protecting her child and some say she should never have acted, “un-lady like”. I can imagine that there are people who may have had similar debates in real life over Mrs Jumbo’s actions. The part that angers me, though, is the human children picking on Dumbo. They should never have been allowed in the enclosure to even be able to touch Dumbo and yet they go completely unpunished. They don’t even have supervision! And then there is the title thrown on Mrs Jumbo as being “mad”.

There is a terrible stereotype of women (especially black women) when they express their anger. Some men respond by asking, “is it your time of the month?” as if that has any relevance. When I served as a hospital chaplain through CPE training, my supervisor had us discuss how we can better provide care to African American women, who are often criticized for being too loud and acting, “crazy” or “unstable”, simply because they are upset. I had a situation in the ER where a patient was dying in one of the trauma rooms. The patient’s daughter arrived and was very upset, crying very loudly and was on the floor. In response, the ER staff called the Chaplain (me)…and the police. When I arrived, the patient was crying uncontrollably on the floor while a white male officer was hovering over her. I asked for some space and I sat on the floor next to her. I didn’t tell her to stop crying, I didn’t tell her to be quiet; because she had every right to respond to her grief and pain in that moment. We need to stop labeling and punishing women for expressing themselves and Mrs Jumbo’s punishment reminds me of this.

The part that gives me comfort is ironically Mrs Jumbo’s anger. In a few ways, Mrs Jumbo reminds me of my mother. Both are compassionate and kind and both will protect their children no matter what. My mother is a fighter. Throughout elementary school, I had an IEP. In the 5^th grade, my math teacher refused to follow my IEP for his preferred style of teaching. In response, my mother called the school Principal and demanded that my math teacher follow it or there would be consequences. This wasn’t just said to the principal, but I was present when she told my math teacher to follow my IEP in person. My mother used her anger to fight for me and my sister while we grew up.

A mother’s love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. There is even a line in the book of Isaiah that relates God’s love to a mother’s love. ‘As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you’ (Isaiah 66:13). Mrs Jumbo is the embodiment of a Mother’s love, willing to protect her child at all cost.

I invite you to share your thoughts on Mrs Jumbo and how has a mother’s love affected your life? It doesn’t have to be your biological mother, as many women can provide a mother’s love. I know many women in my life, outside of my mother, who have given me that same love.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone and blessings to all the comforting and protective mothers out in the world.

Peace,

Kevin

Favorite Disney Scenes: The Terrifying Forest (Snow White)

 In this series, I will be sharing my reflections on my favorite animated Disney movie scenes. Some scenes may be a brief moment in the movie and some scenes may be an entire musical score. I hope my reflections offer some new perspectives and I would love to hear from YOU what your favorite scene is from each Disney movie I cover. Spoiler warning after this paragraph!

Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was a critical and commercial success when it came out in December 1937. It’s the film that started Walt Disney’s company and one could argue that it’s been a major influence on not only future Disney films but animated films in general.

That all being said, I can’t pretend that Snow White has ever been one of my favorite Disney films. I like the movie well enough, but it’s hard to ignore some it’s issues such as the forced gender roles (e.g. the dwarfs and the Prince have to save Snow White while she remains helpless) and the ‘deus ex machina’ of a true love’s first kiss will awaken Snow White (and when you factor in that Snow White is 14 and an older man is coming to kiss her while she is presumed dead is a little too creepy for me). It is important to recognize that Snow White is a product of its time, much like the other older Disney films; I would still recommend anyone to watch it for themselves.

The film begins by silently narrating that the Queen ruled the land and was jealous of Snow White’s beauty and thus made her wear rags so that she can be, “the fairest in the land”. But one day the Magic Mirror that answers all the Queen’s questions informs her that Snow White is ‘more fair’ than her. This is what begins the film and the Queen’s quest to kill Snow White. Her first attempt has her commanding the Huntsman to kill Snow White and then bring back her heart as proof (savage move!). While the Huntsman watches over Snow White in the meadows, he prepares to attack, only to discover that he cannot do it. He pleads for her forgiveness and tells her to run away so she will be safe from the Queen.

This begins my favorite scene in the movie. Snow White is frightened by the news and rightfully so. But something interesting occurs. As she is running into the forest, her fears begin to intensify, and we see this through the surroundings in the forest. At one point, Snow White’s gown gets caught by branches, but Snow White sees the branches as arms grabbing at her. When she falls into a small pond, the tree stumps that are just floating on the surface turn into alligators. The entire scene gradually gets worse and worse; all the trees have scary faces and terrifying eyes and Snow White gets overwhelmed to the point that she stops running and falls on the floor. When she stops, the scene turns back into the normal forest: the scary trees are gone and everything is all still until all the concerned animals come in.

There are two major reasons why this scene is my favorite. The first is simply the animation. You can tell the animaters of this entire scene worked hard in matching Snow White’s increasing fear in her surroundings and the musical score that accompanies this scene also does well in heightening the emotions through it all.

The other major reason is honestly because I can relate to Snow White in this scene. I mean, thankfully I haven’t had a relative or anyone in my life attempt to kill me. But when I watch this scene, it makes me remember my first panic attack I’ve ever had. In 2016 I was in a bad car accident. While I walked away physically unharmed, my car was completely totaled, and I discovered that the crash affected me mentally. Two years later, I was driving on the highway when I saw a bad car wreck on the side of the road. Suddenly I noticed that my breathing was getting heavier. My heart began to pound in my chest and my hands were gradually becoming numb. The whole experienced frightened me. I decided to continue my drive until my feet and legs were starting to become numb. I couldn’t feel the gas peddle beneath my feet. I worried I would crash my car again if I didn’t do something so I finally pulled over. For the next 15 minutes my symptoms persisted. I was absolutely terrified and at the time I had no idea what was going on. It felt like I was losing control of my body. I found out later that I was experiencing a panic attack, no doubt triggered from the past trauma of my car accident and witnessing another car accident. While I felt helpless throughout the majority of my attack, eventually I was able to begin some deep breathing exercises that I was taught. I like to think these breathing exercises were helpful to me.

And that’s exactly what Snow White had to do in order to calm down. She needed to stop running, cry, and breathe deeply. In my situation, I as well needed to stop driving, express my emotions freely, and begin to breathe. This is why I appreciate this scene.

The scene that follows is when the animals come to check in Snow White and they lead her to the Dwarf’s cabin. She then begins to sing with the animals to help her stay calm as they continue through the forest. I can also relate to this as when I’ve been in a dark forest, I tend to either talk or sing very loudly.

Several years ago, I used to work at Christmount retreat center in Black Mountain, North Carolina. At night, the campgrounds would get extremely dark and with the possibility of a black bear or coyotes, I got scared really fast. So in order to cope with my fear, I would sing random camp songs out loud. Not beautifully like Snow White, but that didn’t matter to me at the time! The point was that sometimes singing can be another form of calmness for us when we are in a anxiety filled situation.

While not every lesson from Snow White is applicable to everyone, the lesson I take away is it’s alright to be afraid and when you are afraid, make sure to stop and breathe and maybe even sing to calm down.

My question for you is what do you do when you are afraid? And what is your favorite scene from Snow White?

Peace and Blessings be with you,

Kevin

Why Pride Matters

Have you noticed all the rainbow flags may be covering the streets, cities, and internet lately?

That's because June is here; which means it's Pride month for the LGBTQ+/Queer community! 

While Pride is a year long experience, I view Pride month similarly to other holidays I celebrate like Halloween and Christmas. With Halloween in October, I often watch a lot more horror movies and dress up in different costumes. However, I don't just watch horror movies and dress up in October but do these activities all year long because I enjoy them. The same is true for Christmas. In December, I shop and purchase gifts for my family and friends because it is a holiday that reminds us of the joy of giving onto others. But I still give gifts to my family and friends during the other months of the year as well. 

Pride is the same. It's important to celebrate Pride all year long, but it's also important to celebrate your Pride openly in June as well. 

I came out of my closet when I was in college. Like all individuals who come out of their closets, it was a scary period because when you come out of the closet, you are making the choice to be seen authentically by everyone in your life. The questions of "Once they see who I 'really am' will they still accept me? Want me? Love me?" It's a type of trauma that no one should ever have to experience but is too common in the LGBTQ+ community. 

Unfortunately, when I came out, my mother had already passed away. So I never had the opportunity to come out to her and reveal that I am gay. Thankfully, this is not a source of grief for me. 

I was extremely close with my mother. She was my biggest advocate growing up and made me the better person that I am today. And she was very liberal. When I was a teenager, I heard her talk openly about her support for the LGBTQ+ community and her frustration at the exclusion that they faced in the church and in the world. This knowledge and experience gives me relief, because if I did have the chance to come out to my mom, I know she would accept me, want me, and love me fully. 

This is why Pride matters, for not just LGBTQ+ people, but for everyone. 

It matters to me personally because it gives me a chance to affirm my wonderful identity as a gay cisgender man. 

It matters also because it reminds me that I must be an ally for other people who are also same-gender loving, transgender, non-binary, pansexual, and queer as well. To express my love and support as well.

And it matters to straight cisgender persons because you may know someone who is LGBTQ+ and Queer who is in need of your love and support. 

Children and Teenagers are extremely observant and they are looking for clues to know if they will be loved and supported for their queer identities from their families. By supporting Pride, both in June and throughout the year, you are loving your children and possibly someone else's children if they know they do not have a safe family to come out to. 

So I hope this month and year you will express your support of Pride. 

I support Pride and I hope anyone who is LGBTQ+ and Queer feels safe around me to come out to because I will love you, affirm you, and support you as the wonderful human being that you are born as. 

Peace and Blessings be with you all and Happy Pride!

Accountable

 I've been reflecting upon a memory when I was in elementary school. I believe it was 4^th grade. One of my peers was acting really rowdy and misbehaving, to the point it was disrupting the entire class. Many of the other students thought it was funny and encouraged the misbehaving behavior. I sat quietly, hoping it would settle down eventually. The teacher, appropriately fed up with everything that was going on, punished the entire class with no recess. I remember feeling so betrayed because I kept thinking, “But I didn’t do anything wrong, why should I get punished for the actions of one person?”

That sense of betrayal stayed with me through the rest of my childhood. And in many ways, was encouraged through the lens of our society. America values our individualism and even promotes it. I was never taught this explicitly, but I could see it on TV shows I watched, through the actions of adults around me, and even through the politics that were passed that my mother would talk about at home (often in the form of angry rants). And yet, my 4^th grade teacher went against this individual idolatry and didn’t just punish the one student but punished us all. I am sad to say that it took too long for me to realize the wisdom in her actions.

I want to be clear that I do not believe individualism to be a bad thing by itself. Our individual lives are sacred and should have rights. However, individualism that is absolute and idolized is dangerous. And it’s what killing our nation; too often in the form of gun violence.

I have heard the argument from gun owners whenever a violent act occurs involving one or a few people committing gun violence that they did not do anything wrong so why do people demand for gun reform (often thinking gun reform means their guns will be taken away and often reciting their individual right based on a loose interpretation of the 2^nd amendment).

I’m honestly not a fan of guns at all. I never want one in my living space, and I do not feel comfortable being in the presence of one. But gun reform is not taking all guns away. It’s about education. It’s about strong background checks. It’s about protecting the most vulnerable in our society.

I look toward other countries in the world who have stronger gun reform and the statistics reveal that gun violence is incredibly lower. Japan requires everyone to take all-day classes, written exams, and pass mental and drug tests. Japan has one of the lowest rates of gun crime in the world.

But it’s not just a difference in a person’s view of guns…it’s a culture that is based on community, not individualism.

I believe the issue of gun control comes down to our need to shift our focus toward what is best for the community, not the individual. When one person does something wrong, either a misbehaving kid or a person committing violence with a gun…we all must be held accountable. I must be held accountable for staying silence, even though I didn’t do anything. Our leaders must be held accountable, even if they didn’t do anything. Let us shift our thinking from the actions of one individual to the actions of ALL of us and protect all our citizens from any more unnecessary death and violence.

 

This is my prayer.

Sitting in the Ashes (Lenten Reflection)

Today is Ash Wednesday. Officially, the first day of the season of Lent. 

Just yesterday, a member of the church I currently serve at asked me, "Why is Tuesday before Lent called 'fast Tuesday'?" I explained that traditionally, many Christians practice Lent by fasting so they would spent the day before eating heavier foods to prepare for their fast. In my experience, most people have transformed the practice of fasting food to simply giving up anything in their life. In recent years, the practice continues to transform as some people decide not to take away something from their lives but add something instead. In my mind, as long as the item or activity you are giving up/taking on brings you closer to God's presence during this season, you are celebrating Lent. 

As I was heading to bed last night, I was scrolling on my Facebook page and one of my minister colleagues wrote a short but I felt very powerful statement about these two Lenten practices. To paraphrase his words, he mentioned how in the last two years of both the pandemic and the continuous tragedies we have experienced in the world, how can we take away another thing when it seems so much of our lives is already been taken away? 

And in the same breathe, he mentioned how can we be asked to take on one more thing when we been carrying so much already? I found the statement profound and very realistic. Our spirituality needs to be more realistic at times. I would even say as real as the spirituality of Job. 

Most everyone knows about the character of Job and the suffering he had endured. In most cases of "ultimate suffering", Job is the main example that ministers run to. And it's understandable why. In Job's situation, we never get a final answer as to why Job suffered. We get theories and numerous questions, but never a final answer as to why Job suffered the way he did. That alone is why I believe so many biblical scholars and ministers study Job's book...because deep down, the struggle for answers is so relatable. 

Almost too relatable. In fact, these last several years have felt like something I would read in a biblical book: plagues, wars, deaths of beloved leaders, rebellions, corrupt leaders, discrimination, racism, xenophobia, fear of the end times...

So yes, I agree with my colleague. It does feel so hard to take on something to else during Lent. It feels unjust to ask myself and others to let go of one more thing when we are trying to hold on to what little we might have. So I wonder if instead this Lenten season, in our 40 day journey to become closer to God's presence and love in our lives, we simply just be...?

After all the suffering that Job had witnessed, there is a statement from the writer that shares Job had sat among the ashes. For the longest time, I found the imagery of this verse to be so powerful. It's a phrase my CPE supervisor would share with us as a model of pastoral care quite often. And today, this phrase comes back to me because it feels so relevant and real. How many of us have been sitting in ours and our loved one's ashes, both metaphorically and perhaps to some degree, even literally? In all that Job had endured, he knew he could not take on another thing to do nor could he ask himself to take away one more thing, for he had nothing more to give. And somehow, despite all that which had occurred, he still wanted a closer relationship with God. 

So perhaps this season, we can simply just sit in the ashes that may be present in our lives. As we prepare to receive the ashes upon our foreheads, may we not feel pressured that we must take something on or we must give something up in order to feel God's presence. For God's presence is here with you. In the daily air that you breath, God is with you. In the teardrops that are released from pain, God is with you. From the unanswered questions that leave our lips these last few years and onward, God is with you. 

May we remember we are not alone in our ashes this season and we are loved by the One that made us from the dust, always and forever. 

Be at peace. 

Pentecost Reflection: Breath of Love

Scripture from the book of Numbers 11:24-30

²⁴ So Moses went out and told the people the words of the Lord; and he gathered seventy elders of the people, and placed them all around the tent. ²⁵ Then the Lord came down in the cloud and spoke to him, and took some of the spirit that was on him and put it on the seventy elders; and when the spirit rested upon them, they prophesied. But they did not do so again.

²⁶ Two men remained in the camp, one named Eldad, and the other named Medad, and the spirit rested on them; they were among those registered, but they had not gone out to the tent, and so they prophesied in the camp. ²⁷ And a young man ran and told Moses, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.” ²⁸ And Joshua son of Nun, the assistant of Moses, one of his chosen men,^[a] said, “My lord Moses, stop them!” ²⁹ But Moses said to him, “Are you jealous for my sake? Would that all the Lord’s people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit on them!” ³⁰ And Moses and the elders of Israel returned to the camp.

Have you ever read a passage from some place and for some reason, feel drawn to what was being said? You may not fully understand why you are being drawn to the words that are written, but you feel deep in your soul. This is what I discovered with this passage several days ago.

When I read this passage, I was reminded of a bible study session at my home church, Wake Forest Christian Church, in which we were watching one of Rob Bell’s Nooma videos called “Breath”. In the video, Bell shares that in the bible, the word LORD was translated from the original word in Hebrew, Yahweh. However, the ancient Hebrew people would not pronounce the word Yahweh because of how sacred God’s name is. So instead, they would state only the vowel sounds YHWH, which if pronounced would be “Yud-Hey-Vav-Hey”. And in the video, Bell makes the profound statement that has always stayed with me, “Is the name of God…the sound of breathing?”

I am reminded of that bible study when I read this scripture. We see that Moses taught the “words of the LORD”. I have to wonder though, if the name of God is indeed the sound of breathing, would Moses be simply teaching the people how to breathe? It’s an interesting question and even more interesting the fact that we know that the Hebrew word for Spirit (Ruach) is also the same word for Breath and Wind. And the passage states that God’s Spirit came from the clouds (which is made of wind), came to Moses and then from Moses came to the seventy elders that were gathered. And once the Spirit dwelled among the elders, the elders were able to prophesy.

What is the connection between God’s Spirit and the ability to prophesy? In my belief, God is the eternal source of love. And when we learn how to breathe fully and deeply, we are loving ourselves and when we honor and respect the breath that lives within another human being, we are loving them as well.

And while prophets have mistakenly gotten the reputation as powerful beings that can foretell the future, this could not be further from the truth. Prophets are regular people, just like you and me. But prophets are indeed special, because true prophets’ model what it means to love our neighbors by speaking and acting on behalf of God’s wishes for humanity.

When we prophesy, we are remembering the Spirit that dwells within our very breath and partnering with the Spirit of God as we pour our love for our world.

But to love is not easy. Love means speaking out against injustices that occur in our world. Love means caring for others when it is not easy to do so. Love is standing with the broken-hearted and not casting judgments but understanding what our neighbors are going through. Love is bridging gaps that have broken relationships and creating a new path for reconciliation when possible.

It honestly doesn’t surprise me that the 70 elders in the camp were only able to prophesy once. To love and pour out one’s love in God’s name is extremely draining and, in our world, rest is a gift that is not always given. But what’s extraordinary is that two other men from the camp, Eldad and Medad, felt the Spirit’s call and began to prophesy on their own. And while Joshua was not happy with this, Moses was pleased and encouraged it.

To me this represents an important lesson- if we are not called to prophesy (either because we don’t know how, we doubt ourselves, or we are drained and tired), we still have a part to play. We can encourage, support, and cheer on those who are still pouring our God’s love into the world.

Our world needs more prophets. Injustice threatens to consume our world and love is needed now more than ever to create change for our world. Change in which people no longer fear jogging or being killed by police. Change in which all people: Black, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, White, Gay, Trans, Bi, Straight, Women, Non-binary, Men, Older, Younger, those with common and uncommon functioning- are able to truly stand together as equal neighbors and create together a better world.

Today, on the day of Pentecost, this is my hope and prayer:

May we take a breath and know that we are breathing in God’s Holy Spirit and in that breath, may we be filled with the strength and courage to prophesy the love of God that needs to be breathed into our world. And if we are tired or having trouble breathing, may we support those who continue to do the hard work of love for our world. And in all things, May the Divine of your understanding grant you peace, wisdom, and understanding to help make our world a better place to live in.

Blessed be. Amen.

Celebrating in a New Way

When the word “Celebration” came up, I used to believe that it only meant a time of rejoicing about something good in the world or in one’s life. For example, many of us celebrate on holidays. Mothers Day being the most convenient example. Throughout Facebook, I see post after post of people celebrating how much they love their mothers and how thankful they are for all the amazing things their mothers have done for them. And I’m rejoicing right alongside them. I’m so thankful so many people have mothers who cared for them and raised them to be the people they are today.

However, I realized today that I am not only celebrating Mother’s Day in thanksgiving for other mothers. I am also celebrating in honor of my mother. But my celebration isn’t 100% joyful or rejoicing. Most of my celebration comes with grief.

I am saddened that I am not able to be physically with my mother both today and the rest of my life. I am saddened that on the many tough days I’ve been experiencing, I’m not able to call my mother on the phone and seek her counsel or hear her tell me things are going to be okay. Today, I am hurt and I am sad.

And yet…I celebrate Mother’s Day.

And I know I am not alone. Mother’s Day is a very complicated holiday. There are many children who have lost their mothers like me. 

But there are also women who have lost children. 

Women who want to conceive but are unable to. 

People who were abandoned by their mothers. 

Women who had no choice but to give their children up. 

People who were abused by their mothers. 

Women who choose not to have children but are critiqued for their choices. 

And now with COVID-19, there are those who grieve not being able to be at their mother’s beside in the hospitals.

Mother’s Day is a day of rejoicing and thanksgiving, but it is also a day of lament, sadness, anger, and even pain.

It’s this reason that I choose no longer to define celebration as a way of expressing rejoice. I see celebration as a time of expression. Expressing the emotions that need to be shared.

You can celebrate by lighting a candle and crying from your pain. You can celebrate by writing a letter of the anger you feel. You can celebrate by remembering good times and not so good times. You can do all of these things or none of these things. The choice is up to you in how you celebrate the multitude of emotions that Mother’s Day and any holiday may have in store for you.

Today, I will cry from my losses. I will give thanks for the women who have been like mothers to me in my life. And I will remember all the memories I did have with my mom and lament possible memories that were lost after she died.

My hope for you is that you take some time today to celebrate anyway you need to. I hope you are able to express your emotions, no matter what they are, and find someone who cares for you enough to never judge you for the emotions you express.

May your Spirit be blessed today and the days ahead,

Blessed Be and Amen.